With no reference to every issue but with relevance any issue.

I've been doing a little thinking in my attempt not to think. Lit students tend to overthink issues just because that's how we are. We analyse actions, create situtations with reference to other other situations and make what is unreal seem real.

So it took me years to realise what I could achieve in a month, I decided to put aside things that I wasn't sure of in my life and constantly asked myself what it is that I actually want. What I want now is no longer what I had wanted then. 1 month of distancing made it clear what I could live with and what I could live without, what is important to me what wasn't (nope, no typo here. I meant it that way).

What I was 2 years ago, I no longer am. Because like Pete wrote it seems that it is only when you go through pain that you are changed. So I have changed and what I try to keep for myself now is what I'm sure I want. What I don't need, I've given it up, all up.

Of course, periodically, I drift back into that state of ambivalence but it's becoming clearer now, what I'm moving towards to and what I'm moving away from.

There's just one more thing that I need to ask myself. Just one more.

* Keith * If it's worth having, it's worth fighting for says:
Tho self-realisation makes me more jaded and bitter

celine * says:
yea, that's why you need this other factor - you need to move on after self-realisation
it doesnt end there

* Keith * If it's worth having, it's worth fighting for says:
HAHA
I dont know how people do that
Self-realisation can be paralysing

celine * says:
i just managed to move on
YOU CAN TOO